Apparently joining forces with a man hell bent on opposing the association of superheroes who’s sworn duty is protecting the fate of the world is a deal breaker.

If there’s anything Beyonce has taught me it is that upgrades can be a good thing. 

I think one of the hardest challenges in becoming a villain was finding the perfect laugh. My father said that before I go out on the field I needed to construct an iconic cackle that would strike fear in the hearts of our opposers. For days I locked myself in my room putting my voice through different pitches and rhythms until I had a laugh that was truly special. When it came time to test the fruit of my labour on my adversaries I let out a loud laugh to the tune of what makes you beautiful. My father said I should keep working on it.

-Kaldur’ahm

My favourite used to be Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey, but my father said that it was far to cutsie to be associated with a villain, so I sent a muffin basket along with a letter to the ice cream makers requesting that they change the name to Ben and Jerry’s Evil Chunky Monkey. I’m still waiting for their reply.

Mooncactus I’m sure that with some time I’ll be able to fix my broken friendships.

PS: I’m a villain now so obivously that first sentence was a lie, becasue that’s what villains do. Or maybe the second sentence was a lie, and I am actually lying about lying. Which would mean that I’m telling the truth, but that’s the opposite of what I want to do so…….umm….. Oh Neptune I got myself confused again! Being the bad guy is turning out to be much harder then I thought it would be.

I’m certainly not weeping over reruns of The Proud Family while eating an entire ice cram cake. Anyone who says other whys is a filthy liar.

Many people have asked me why I had suddenly abandoned the ideals that I used to upheld with such high regard to live a life of crime. I assume you are all familiar with the biblical tale of Samson, the man who lost his super strength after getting a haircut. Well the same thing happened to me, except instead of losing my strength I lost my wholesomeness.  I went into the salon wanting a new style because I had the close cut look for as look as I could remember. I wanted something daring and what’s more daring then shaving the bottom half of my head? After the hair change I started having strange thoughts, devious thoughts. This drove me to commit villainous action like taking a selfish about free samples at Costco and not separating my recyclables.  I think the final sign that showed me that I had gone to the dark side was from my iPod. Every time I would put it on shuffle the first song that would come on was Bad by Michael Jackson.

-Kaldur’ahm

I am touched by your words anngyen. I suppose my departure teaches us an important lesson in life. Every flower will wilt, every star will eventually die, every front lace weave will look trashy in 2 months. One of the universe’s cruelest truths is that all good things come to an end.

Hmm what day did that occur? Because if it was during a Friday night then I was probably partaking in some activities not suitable for young children.

Zombiepeas, I don’t know what illusion I must have projected to make you think that way because I am by no means amazing. I put on my skin tight pants just like another person; one long, lean leg at a time.

p.s: I am so sorry that my existence threatens the health of your heart. I seem to have that effect on many people and I tried to stop it, but like the ocean current this sex apeal that has been bestowed on me cannot be stopped.